Nothing is harder than asking your own child whether they are thinking about suicide. Nothing is more protective. This page is for parents and guardians of children and teenagers. It pairs with the full Harbor Watch training, which you should complete.
Pick a moment side by side rather than face to face: the car, a walk, washing up. Say what you have noticed, without accusation. Then ask plainly.
“I've noticed you've seemed really low lately. Sometimes when people feel like that they think about suicide. Are you thinking about it?”
If they say no, say thank you, that you asked because you love them, and that the door is open. If they say yes, stay calm on the outside even if you are not on the inside. Do not react with panic, anger or a lecture about how much it would hurt you. Say: “I'm really glad you told me. We're going to get through this together, and I'm going to get us some help.”
When a young person is at risk, the single most effective thing a household can do is put time and distance between them and whatever could be used to hurt themselves. Do this quietly, with the guidance of a clinician or your Harbor Watch training, and do it that same day. Keep the conversation about safety, not about specifics.
A young person enrolled in Harbor care names three Anchors: one adult at home, one at school, one more. When they open Crisis Mode on their phone, their Anchors know. If your child enrolls, you will be trained for the role in ten minutes. Learn how care works.